Buhtt sex?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
