The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
