If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
