So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
