cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
