literally had 100 drinks last night.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
