the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
