Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
