ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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