and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
