haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
