I'm eating all of the evidence.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
