On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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