No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's blow job season.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
