Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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