sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
