You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Randomize
