At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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