The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
