made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
