remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
