Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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