my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
