His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
