dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
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