1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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