how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
