mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
