i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
