So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
