I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
