quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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