the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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