Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
