So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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