all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
