it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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