Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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