He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
