I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
