i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Randomize
