i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
