JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
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