I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
