Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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