two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
