oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
