11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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