Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
