he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
