i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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