I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
